“I've realized humans aren't meant to be alone.”
As a treat to myself, I have written an article in the style format of one of my favorite websites the-talks.com for my 40th birthday, where I interview myself about turning 40. It is meant as a kind of time capsule for myself to read in the years and decades to come. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Selfportrait shot with bare bulb light.
How does it feel to reach 40?
It’s incredible, really. I never believed I would last this long. Now that I’m here, it feels ambiguous, like I’ve been given another chance. In today’s society, turning 40 can mean so many different things: a midlife crisis, settling down with a house, partner, and kids, or even going through a divorce or the onset of menopause. But I haven’t experienced those traditional milestones. I’ve never been married, don’t have kids, and don’t own a house, so in some ways, I feel like I’m missing an anchor or a guiding light.
What physical changes have you noticed at 40?
I’m acutely aware of the aging process. My skin is changing, and I need more time to recharge. I’ve learned the importance of keeping my muscles strong and flexible. But I’m proud to say I’m a healthy person with good weight, muscle mass, and mobility. I’ve even started putting in extra effort because I know muscle loss accelerates as we age. Unlike in my younger years, I now prioritize sleep, good breathing, and nutritious food to keep both my body and mind as sane as possible.
How has your emotional and psychological landscape evolved?
The last decade has been one of immense growth and maturity, especially emotionally and psychologically. Being single for over six years has given me ample time to work on myself, and though I’m still a work in progress, I’m grateful for the development. There’s no longer the pressure of having kids, so I can afford to wait for the right person to come along. But I also recognize that humans aren’t meant to be alone. I value my good friends deeply and try to keep them close.
Do you believe in the concept of a midlife crisis?
I think whether you experience a midlife crisis depends on how you embrace the choices you’ve made and how much you’ve tried to fit into a mold. For me, I don’t think I’ll be susceptible to it. I see many in my generation grappling with mental health issues, looking for a reset button. So in that sense, I’m not alone in contemplating the meaning of turning 40.
What has your career journey been like as you approached 40?
The last decade has been chaotic career-wise. In my twenties, I was doing crazy hours and amazing work, but in my thirties, I veered off course, doing more marketing and longer assignments for single clients. I thought I wanted stability, but it made me less happy. The demands and expectations were overwhelming, and I almost lost one of my greatest loves: photography. I struggled for years to rekindle that passion but never gave up. I started small, held myself accountable with fellow artists, and slowly rediscovered the fun. Going into my forties with this new insight, I hope to make an international mark with my work.
What other professional ambitions do you have?
Beyond photography, I’m passionate about health. As I age, I realize I have more to offer than just yoga. There’s an ambition to share what I’ve learned about living well. Health is wealth, after all.
How have your relationships and social dynamics evolved?
I’m not very close with my family, unfortunately. But I have a set of really good friends who are like family to me. They’re busy people, but we stay in touch, and I treasure them immensely. I’m incredibly grateful to have them in my life.
What about financial planning? How do you approach it?
I’ve been living on short-term plans and was never taught how to build wealth, so I’ve dropped the ball there. I don’t value money as much as I perhaps should, which might be tricky in the future. But I believe I’ll work until I die because I love working, and I think it will keep me fit and connected to the world. Retirement isn’t really in my scope.
Have you thought about where you want to live as you get older?
Life is getting more expensive, so one plan is to save more and eventually move to a region where living is cheaper and the climate is warmer. I love a warm climate, but I also appreciate Belgium’s mild weather. Expats often say they value the fact that it’s almost never too hot or too cold here.
What role does personal growth play in your life now?
Personal growth is essential to me. I have many hobbies, though they’re not very structured. I’ve often adopted the hobbies of my partners in the past. But if I had to define my own, they’d be horses, diving, traveling, reading, and movies. I’m also curious about trying new things like water skiing or archery. Working with tools or shooting with a bow and arrow could give me a kind of confidence that knitting never could.
What are your thoughts on societal perceptions of age, particularly for women?
I remember when Kylie Minogue made a comeback at 33, and I thought that was so old. Now, Jennifer Lopez is 50 and still a diva. I aspire to be in that kind of shape at 50. Women’s roles have changed a lot in the last 20 years, but misogyny is still an issue. As I’ve grown older, I’ve lost the patience to deal with it. I feel more like a 25-year-old with 15 years of experience, and that’s freeing.
What are your final thoughts on turning 40?
There are still ambitions left in me to explore. I’ve already started preparing my body and mind for old age, so barring any major accidents, I expect that to be a breeze. Menopause is knocking on the door, but I feel ready to face that challenge head-on. Social media has finally brought attention to that topic, which is a relief. I’m looking forward to the decades ahead.
